She says it feels too much like her doing things when we take control, and I'm nkt sure how to mitigate that aside from just telling her it's not the case.
Dang it, I know you asked about this before but I don't remember what I said already
1:35 PM
Eh screw it, I'm going to ask for a couple things:
Does Mason identify with the SOC (Stream of consciousness)?
Are you haunted by Mason's ghost?
SOC: That feeling of looking through the eyes, feeling alive, experiencing the body's senses
Ghost: unconscious thoughts from your headmate that pop up from time to time.
For the SOC- that feeling of being alive we consider to be the body's, BUT we can take ownership of that experience.
Meanwhile, our headmate's ghosts can cause trouble, but they only lead to a loss of the front if that headmate is switched-in. It's normal to have the brain "simulate" your headmates, but for us it doesn't lead to a loss of control.
We solved this by acknowledging that the ghost is just a ghost, and we switch based on the SOC being something the switched-in headmate can own instead of the SOC being a headmate.
3:30 PM
===
And there are no trust issues with Mason and fronting, are there? Whether they are Mason's trust issues or other headmates not being comfortable with them switching in?
I'm sorry, I fell asleep earlier
I'm curious how she interfears because it may be a matter of a parallel processing like experience or not. Gray would basically "replace" me, but we don't talk over each other
I can't tell you the difference personally, but from the people I have spoken to I suspect it functions like an entirely seprate front but with its own limitations. Since the sensory inputs are most likely imagined and it may not be as powerful as the front SOC, I think of it as a pseudo SOC.
When we switch out, we disconnect from the front. To go inactive, Mason would have to switch out of the watcher's position(edited)
7:14 PM
Not really. My system likes to think it's very skilled in terms of having a realistic internal world, and even then, it's more of an elaborate daydream than a real plane of reality.
See, now that context is important to me
7:14 PM
We suspect inner worlds are a pseudo SOC
7:16 PM
So the watcher position is either its own pseudo SOC or using the inner world's pseudo SOC? OR Mason is switched in to the front while everyone else is connected to the inner world pseudo SOC?
I'm excited because the possibilities get really interesting really quickly!
I would guess the experience of being in a pseudo SOC is you have a second mind camera, or mind's eye, instead of just one
OR if individual headmates have their own pseudo SOCs, maybe a switch is attaching and detaching them from the front!
I wish I could play with this
Please do! If you take away anything from my ramblings, it's please open your mind to some different and interesting possibilities BUT if they don't make sense to you all, that's okay too!
7:23 PM
Also I want to hear how you guys describe your experience, I'm excited
I'm not sure to understand everything but I recently "played" with the SOC or at least "felt" it when my headmates got to front a full day each back to back and I would do nothing but watch.
I never disconnected yet. I used to want to but now I'm unsure or at least I have other priorities ^^
Iota ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗
She says it feels too much like her doing things when we take control, and I'm nkt sure how to mitigate that aside from just telling her it's not the case.
SOC: That feeling of looking through the eyes, feeling alive, experiencing the body's senses
the SOC is always going to be present in any situation your system is aware of. And, since Mason identifies with the SOC, it stands to reason that she's always going to feel that she is present, too!
I think the key to fronting without her being present would be for her to change her beliefs about her ownership of the SOC. In our own system, we see our body and the data we get from it as a shared resource, but I think that's only one way of doing things... could she potentially choose to temporarily give up ownership of the SOC for a time, and then go back to her default ownership later?
8:50 PM
(and yes, I am referring to Ranger as Ranger x because that's cooler)
No no, you do not want to know what xXxRangerxXx is
9:21 PM
But joking aside, uh...
Ra'ini
I'm not sure to understand everything but I recently "played" with the SOC or at least "felt" it when my headmates got to front a full day each back to back and I would do nothing but watch.
Playing is good! It gives you a sense of what your rules are for what's going on in your head and if something like a SOC is even relevant to you all or not!
A long kiss goodnight
Playing is good! It gives you a sense of what your rules are for what's going on in your head and if something like a SOC is even relevant to you all or not!
Yeah I noticed once that my thoughts could be felt like I usually felt my other headmates's. It was a strange feeling to be felt like this.
But physically it makes no difference on the awareness side(edited)
would just like to mention were not dead, theres two more guys now, none of them are very developed still even though theyve all been vocal from day one (they cant speak 'on their own', i have to be explicitly paying attention to them), and possession experiments are either going very well or very poorly depending on whether ive been running with false positives. havent been speaking in this server due to my fears of being found out coming back and because of my significant discomfort with the term 'tulpa'; im just still here because its the only place i can find good resources for voluntary plurality lmao
Yeah
There's a lot of separation between us anyways so it can be hard to speak between us without a lot of focus
Maybe it'll change in the future, maybe it won't
I don't really care
tell that to my deep seated conviction that attempted switches dont "count" unless i black out or otherwise dissociate when ive never had a strong dissociative episode before so i dont know if im even capable of such a thing (and i suspect that the only thing they could do right now is hijack my consciousness instead of inserting their own)
1:52 PM
one of my guys tried to take over my body during an episode i was having once and failed entirely. couldnt make any headway. i only knew she had tried because she said she was trying.
yyyyyeahhhh sounds like sort of mental health stuff i mentioned
the alt account in question
tell that to my deep seated conviction that attempted switches dont "count" unless i black out or otherwise dissociate when ive never had a strong dissociative episode before so i dont know if im even capable of such a thing (and i suspect that the only thing they could do right now is hijack my consciousness instead of inserting their own)
its like. i need confirmation that it isnt just a false positive/me roleplaying a switch. and the only way i can confirm that for sure is if i dont remember what happened during it
its like. i need confirmation that it isnt just a false positive/me roleplaying a switch. and the only way i can confirm that for sure is if i dont remember what happened during it
Trust me it wouldn't
I've had non-remembered switches happen before and it's really disorienting and confusing
Even though it didn't even happen for that long for me
the thing that you need to be aware of is that once brain learns to dissociate it starts using it as coping mechanism, especially when you are stressed or have a panic attack you can’t control, and it can spiral out even more of control,
hope you really are sure about that
i personally don’t think even people with stable mental state should try to learn how to dissociate, but do what you want ofc(edited)
the certainty that my experiences are real would be worth it to me. i know this may be difficult to understand but. i am a little bit skeptically minded no matter how hard i try not to be
because i would be believing something about my experiences that isnt actually true.
2:09 PM
im not saying theres a moral value to switching "properly". i just mean that i want to be sure that that is what i am doing.
2:10 PM
the same reason i have been second guessing my possession experiences; i dont get an 'alien movement' feeling (at least not yet) so i have to track who the thoughts came from, and sometimes they forget to actually move so they just think the action, so i cant tell if the movement is them or just me acting on their thoughts. you know?
i have had blackout switches from the beginning (DID) and it doesn’t make me any more sure if it’s one consciousness or multiple ones, i experience it sometimes as former sometimes as latter, but just because i experience it one way or another doesn’t make it true
2:11 PM
what is true is your experience
2:12 PM
so i wonder if you would really get from this experience what you expect
the alt account in question
the same reason i have been second guessing my possession experiences; i dont get an 'alien movement' feeling (at least not yet) so i have to track who the thoughts came from, and sometimes they forget to actually move so they just think the action, so i cant tell if the movement is them or just me acting on their thoughts. you know?
I can relate to that possession feelings ^^° That's mostly why we don't do possession anymore. Who needs direct body control anyway? Even as host I never or very rarely directly control the body.
It never prevented from succeeding at "switching"
As Leiko said "stay safe". Our system had multiple discussions recently about crossing that barrier of enabling a more physical split (dissociation) and the issue is that once it's possible, it may be used uncontrollably and may have unexpected consequences. That's why Twi rolled back on her wish to dissociate for now. Recently I could make her more "sure" that switches are definitely happening and that it's not fake.
2:17 PM
fwiw we'd be interested in your progress if you wish to proceed with dissociation. We seems like in a similar situation so it'd be an interesting sharing ^^
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